Clueless

Rating: *

A classic? I don't think so. Not bad enough to laugh at ironically, not good enough to genuinely laugh at. I do however believe that without this movie mean girls may never have existed and thus I deem it a necessary evil.

The Tree of Life

Rating: ***

This has got to be the weirdest movie I have ever seen. A close look at a borderline abusive Texas family with an oldest son that I felt sure was to grow up and become psycho interwoven with scenes that would have felt quite fitting in a discovery documentary on space. I was left with the feeling that I had not fully understood what I had just witnessed but with the comforting notion that this was perhaps what I was supposed to feel. After all, shouldn’t life and the creation of the universe leave us perplexed? I felt as though the movie was a nudge on the shoulder of any religious beliefs as a strictly christian family was followed and compared to the beauty of the creation of atoms, hinting at the delicate balance that the Earth must continue in order to prevent life from ceasing to exist. A balance that is perhaps obtainable by chance, without God. My favourite concept however was a simple one, introduced at the very beginning (if I had known this would be the case it possibly could've prevented the several hours worth of difficult to follow plot lines and mild mind fuck) it was that a human being can follow the path of nature or of grace. The interesting part of this being that the path of nature is the one represented by those who want the best for themselves and will do whatever it takes to achieve this. Nature described as a vice rather than a blessing is a concept that tends to be lacking as we like to believe that it is in our human nature to be kind and caring towards others. Logically, why should we be any different to any other organism on Earth? But I digress. This film is heavy. Prepare for your attention span to be challenged. 

(watch for aesthetic) 

The Lion King

Rating: *****

Not only does this movie hit right in the childhood but stirs emotions inside even those usually devoid of such things. The vibrant colours and brilliantly written music transports everyone to Africa, no matter who's living room you're sitting in, no matter how much the howling English rain is battering the windows. I watched this recently expecting it to be something that seemed great as a child but having experienced a lot more animated movies created with much more high tech computers would seem disappointing in comparison. But still the goosebumps formed at the opening sequence and for some reason all I could do was watch the animals that I could believe where alive because he animators had done such a great job capturing the essence of all the creatures on the savannah. So animators (from which Big Hero Six are excluded - it was awesome) step up your game and stop with the crappy proportions of your characters.
So maybe it is just me who feels this way about this movie. But if this is the case then I hope that every person gets to see a movie that connects to them as this one has to me. It's an experience that I wish upon the world.

Insurgent

Rating: ****

I was pleasantly surprised by this movie having been bored and unimpressed by the first in the series ('Divergent'). The storyline in 'Insurgent' was not completely predictable and there was an abundance of future tech and cool housing which kept me satisfied. However, I feel that my most valid complaint is to do with the naming of the series which I can imagine might have sounded clever at the time but is honestly off-putting to anyone under the age of about twelve. 

What also ran through my mind during the film is that casting directors are either really lazy or protective of the movie industry..? with most of the actors already being heavily associated with each other before 'Divergent' (as you probably already know): See 'The Fault In Our Stars, 'the spectacular now' where shailene plays the love interest so well that Insurgent feels uncomfortably incestuous. Seriously. I'm sure there are several aspiring actors/actresses, stop it. 

Also the amount of 'troops running in to save the day just in time' almost outnumbers the burst ins in the 'Lord of the Rings' series which may leave you assuming that Tris etc will be saved when in trouble. This, although allowing me a pleasant/ sweat free experience, is probably not the best for a movie supposedly designed to get your blood pumping. 

And to finish, yes Miles Teller is hot, but that does not excuse him from stabbing someone in the eye because they were more talented than him in the first movie (don't conveniently forget like the director does and worship him like a hero). 

Sound track is good though. 

Titanic

Rating: *****

After hearing teenage girls hanker on for months about the supposed God that was Leonardo De Caprio I just had to witness it for myself.

This was the first time that I had ever seen titanic (stop judging) and I was pleasantly surprised to say the least. The plot is not only about the overly talked about Jack and Rose, instead the director uses their chemistry to draw us in as viewers and to distract us from the well-known impending doom, to spare our feelings for a good 2 hours before soul crushingly sinking a titanic ship along with killing all the passengers on board. Well played James Cameron. Well played. 

I can think of no better way to demonstrate the absolute monstrosity that was the Titanic ship with its arrogance and ignorance on display in this movie that sounds too long but doesn't feel too long.

However, although I can confirm that younger Leo is not difficult to look at Kate Winslet is in my opinion is about 10x more good looking. However, you are almost guaranteed to come running after/during your 'Titanic' viewing (as I did) screaming that Rose is not only stupid but also a selfish whore. 

'Titanic' for once deserves the credit it has been given so do watch it and try to have fun as you cry tears of frustration and attempt to yank hair from your scalp in shear disbelief at the stupidity of humankind. There's also some romance or whatever.  

The Spectacular Now

Rating: ****

Having originally dismissed this film as 'just another love story' I decided to watch it on the basis that Shailene and Miles Teller looked good together because thoughtful, meaningful decisions come naturally to me. I wasn't sure what to expect and was confronted with the rare feeling that the movie was far more intellectual than I had originally thought. However, I do feel that in the story was far too dependent on chance as so many movies are and Aimee (who spells it like that?!) unfortunately slipped into the 'my world revolves around my boyfriend' category which I fear may have come from watching 'Highschool musical 3' too many times. 

The movie certainly hit home with the theme of decisions and the future, riding up to meet us all like running towards the edge of a very very tall cliff. Although coming from somewhere where decisions are made for us and not working isn't really an option I'm convinced that a small bit of Sutter in everyone wouldn't hurt, that warm and youthful mayhem shouldn't be stomped out of our adolescence so completely. 

Other than that Miles and Shailene deliver an utterly spectacular (wahey) performance worthy of goosebumps and tears.

The Purge

GUEST WRITER *EHEM* ELLA WITTS.  Ok yes it's because I don't watch horror. Pls explain to me why you want to not be able to sleep at night.

Rating: **

Soooo I don’t really know what to think. I feel like this film should’ve been good because the whole concept is original and exciting….but it just wasn’t. Maybe that’s because I felt that the plot was based on some dodgy possibilities… Like why does everyone suddenly turn into ruthless killers?!? Come on – those villain people in masks are like possessed. And of course the saviours managed to turn up at the exact right time on several occasions.

Also so many horror film clichés were used which kinda ruined this film for me. The creaky door, the abandoned swing, the creepy childish tunes…

I’m gonna be honest… this film really annoyed me. Especially Charlie – possibly the most frustrating character of all time. Most of the plot was based on his stupid actions, like letting that homeless guy in in the first place.

But… I’ve got to admit that I was on the edge of my seat for much of the film, and Rhys Wakefield was really well cast as the main villain. And I fell in love with the homeless guy in the end, even though I was screaming for the parents to sacrifice him before that.

The Lego Movie

Rating: ****

This review may or may not be slightly biased as most of my childhood centered around making my own lego town.
Anyways, do not disregard this movie as simply a movie to entertain children as I watched it with my 20 year old brother who thoroughly enjoyed it. I will say that you MUST watch it in HD because the detail is the best part of this movie. Seriously though .. you can see fingerprints on the pieces.
It also has a legendary cast including batman, wonder woman, green lantern etc and is funny in the most ridiculous way.
It even seems to tackle the issue of society's rules and regulations to a degree with Emmets fictional world strangely alike the real world. His $37 dollar coffee in the morning almost seems as ridiculous as the 4 pounds it takes to buy a real hot chocolate these days.
In conclusion,
it's not a movie that pulls on the heart strings or even gets you to think about life but it will make you want to buy a shitload of lego. And what else really matters?

BLACKFISH

Rating:*****

This is one of my favourite movies. It's beautifully done and informative with a great insight into the conditions that we keep wild orcas in. It's done in a way that doesn't force the opinion that caging these animals are wrong but points out the things we need to change.
It specifically looks at the upbringing of Tilikum, the killer whale that killed Dawn Brancheau who is still the largest male living in captivity.
After watching this movie I am of the opinion that trainers do develop an affection for their orcas and their orcas may or may not reciprocate that but what became increasingly apparent was that the people behind the trading of the whales do not understand what they are dealing with. They don't realise that these animals are capable of emotions that equal ours or that mental stimulation with toys or trainers isn't enough for an animal capable of complex communication.
It wasn't their care that appalled me but the lack of empathy that we so called "empathetic creatures" treated them with.
You owe it to them to watch this film if you've ever been to sea world, you really do.

Free Tillikum petiton

Thor: The Dark World

Rating: ***

Unfortunately there wasn't as much of a comedic relationship between Thor and the mortal world in this one with most events happening in Asgard or somewhere..
It was another one of those 'save the world movies' that I had subconsciously cast as boringly predictable half way through. But at that point I didn't realize how wrong I was with the biggest plot twist (possibly ever) leaving me pretty stunned and now I don't really know what happened in the movie tbh.
Also can we please stop with the 'can I trust Loki' story lines they leave everyone distraught when he inevitably betrays everyone he can.

Frozen

Rating: ***

Where do I start. Apparently the whole teen population has unanimously decided that they love this film so I rounded the rating up from 2.5 to 3 stars because I don't want to be murdered in my sleep. It just wasn't that good. Please watch it though I don't want you to be excluded from your group of friends.
Also can I just rant about how the animators seem to have gone out of their way to create characters who's beauty is completely unattainable, mainly because LOOK AT THE PROPORTIONS OF THEIR FACES.

Captain America: The winter soldier

Rating: ****

The first half of this movie was mostly 'look at my how many things my shield can smash through'. Fair enough, it was pretty impressive. If you like explosions and guns etc then go see this movie. It was actually fairly funny with Anthony Mackie and Chis Evans providing most of the comic relief.
It did, however, get some stick for presenting black widow as more of a sexual object but I thought that Scarlett Johansen made it pretty clear that no men in this movie were in charge. ALSO I CAN'T SAY THAT I LOVE HER BECAUSE SHE'S A STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER BECAUSE APPARENTLY THAT'S AGAINST FEMINISM BUT I DO so..
(If you're only going for Chris Evans' torso then watch the first one which incidentally has a better plot).
p.s Sam Wilson is pretty awesome but stop mentioning that he's black. Literally just stop.

Magic Mike

Rating: Depends what ur lookin' for

Anyone who tells you that this movie has any plot whatsoever is lying to you as well as themselves. But literally who cares.
The only negative thing that came of this movie is that every time I hear 'Like a virgin' I imagine Alex Pettyfer stripping and I'm not even sure that's a bad thing.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Rating: ***

Not as good as the first one unfortunately. It was a lot to live up to though and there was a dragon (Benedict Cumberbatch's voice) so it was still worth watching. There just wasn't as much spectacular scenery and too much of the plot was different from the book and THERE WERENT ANY SONGS. The elves also managed to take unrealistic to a whole new level.
The end of the movie was an unbelievably good cliffhanger with Ed Sheeran's 'I see fire' which was enough to save this movie.

Monsters University

 Rating: ****

Completely underrated. Of course it isn't as good as the first but most sequels aren't. I actually found it a lot funnier than I thought I would and it was nice to see a back story for Randall who was actually pretty adorable to start. Thinking about it it kind of reminds me of a much better version of 'House Bunny' without the sexism or the cheese.

Looper

Rating: **

I WILL PAY SOMEONE TO TELL ME WHAT THE HELL WENT ON IN THIS MOVIE. EVEN JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT'S SCREEN TIME DIDN'T MAKE UP FOR THE CONFUSION THAT IS LOOPER.
Seriously though how many flaws can you find in this movie. Basically time travel crime is illogical goodbye.

IMPORTANT LINK: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwDbqhl_p3g

About time

Rating: ****

This is the ultimate feel good movie. It was just so.. NICE and beautiful and happy. But it does have its fair share of tragedy and romance. It doesn't try to over-complicate time travel *ehem* Looper so its nice and easy to follow but not boring although it does include some rather cliche time travel story lines.
The fact that the main man is not dashingly handsome is nothing less than refreshing and the insecure Rachel McAdams is completely relatable.
IT ISNT OVERLY ROMANTIC EITHER WHICH IS A NEW THING FOR RACHEL *claps*

The Avengers

Rating: ****

This film was definitely better than I expected it and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It is probably most famous for its Loki vs Hulk scene and rightfully so as there is nothing much better than seeing a smart arse being repeatedly smashed into the floor. I just remember being SO happy that someone had decided to combine all these heroes but something about Thor and Tony Stark (a scientist) being in the same room is quite uncomfortable. Also c'mon Marvel try to make the Hulk's individual story a little less predictable. BUT I LOVED IT HOW CAN YOU NOT ITS ALL YOUR FAVOURITE SUPERHEROES IN ONE  ACTION FILLED MOVIE.

The Lovely Bones

Rating: ****

Overwhelmingly creepy with a bucketload of suspense. Bring a spare pair of pants and some tissues. It stayed as true to the book as I would have liked and made a fictional murder come to life in a way that you will never get over. Also full credit to Stanley Tucci (as Mr Harvey) for managing to make me feel absolutely terrified of any stranger that now approaches me. All in all an adorable thriller which will make you question whether the dead are really dead.

Mean Girls

Rating: ****

If you haven't watched this movie then in the nicest way possible what are you doing with your life..? You may even understand all those mean girls quotes that you didn't even realise came up in everyday life. If you have seen it, watch it again. It's still as good as it was NINE years ago and if you've only just become a preteen then this is your coming of age movie. It'll probably also be your first look at Lindsay Lohan sane.

IMPORTANT LINK:
http://thoughtcatalog.com/nico-lang/2013/02/40-mean-girls-quotes-that-make-everyday-life-worth-living/