Titanic

Rating: *****

After hearing teenage girls hanker on for months about the supposed God that was Leonardo De Caprio I just had to witness it for myself.

This was the first time that I had ever seen titanic (stop judging) and I was pleasantly surprised to say the least. The plot is not only about the overly talked about Jack and Rose, instead the director uses their chemistry to draw us in as viewers and to distract us from the well-known impending doom, to spare our feelings for a good 2 hours before soul crushingly sinking a titanic ship along with killing all the passengers on board. Well played James Cameron. Well played. 

I can think of no better way to demonstrate the absolute monstrosity that was the Titanic ship with its arrogance and ignorance on display in this movie that sounds too long but doesn't feel too long.

However, although I can confirm that younger Leo is not difficult to look at Kate Winslet is in my opinion is about 10x more good looking. However, you are almost guaranteed to come running after/during your 'Titanic' viewing (as I did) screaming that Rose is not only stupid but also a selfish whore. 

'Titanic' for once deserves the credit it has been given so do watch it and try to have fun as you cry tears of frustration and attempt to yank hair from your scalp in shear disbelief at the stupidity of humankind. There's also some romance or whatever.  

The Spectacular Now

Rating: ****

Having originally dismissed this film as 'just another love story' I decided to watch it on the basis that Shailene and Miles Teller looked good together because thoughtful, meaningful decisions come naturally to me. I wasn't sure what to expect and was confronted with the rare feeling that the movie was far more intellectual than I had originally thought. However, I do feel that in the story was far too dependent on chance as so many movies are and Aimee (who spells it like that?!) unfortunately slipped into the 'my world revolves around my boyfriend' category which I fear may have come from watching 'Highschool musical 3' too many times. 

The movie certainly hit home with the theme of decisions and the future, riding up to meet us all like running towards the edge of a very very tall cliff. Although coming from somewhere where decisions are made for us and not working isn't really an option I'm convinced that a small bit of Sutter in everyone wouldn't hurt, that warm and youthful mayhem shouldn't be stomped out of our adolescence so completely. 

Other than that Miles and Shailene deliver an utterly spectacular (wahey) performance worthy of goosebumps and tears.

The Purge

GUEST WRITER *EHEM* ELLA WITTS.  Ok yes it's because I don't watch horror. Pls explain to me why you want to not be able to sleep at night.

Rating: **

Soooo I don’t really know what to think. I feel like this film should’ve been good because the whole concept is original and exciting….but it just wasn’t. Maybe that’s because I felt that the plot was based on some dodgy possibilities… Like why does everyone suddenly turn into ruthless killers?!? Come on – those villain people in masks are like possessed. And of course the saviours managed to turn up at the exact right time on several occasions.

Also so many horror film clichés were used which kinda ruined this film for me. The creaky door, the abandoned swing, the creepy childish tunes…

I’m gonna be honest… this film really annoyed me. Especially Charlie – possibly the most frustrating character of all time. Most of the plot was based on his stupid actions, like letting that homeless guy in in the first place.

But… I’ve got to admit that I was on the edge of my seat for much of the film, and Rhys Wakefield was really well cast as the main villain. And I fell in love with the homeless guy in the end, even though I was screaming for the parents to sacrifice him before that.

The Lego Movie

Rating: ****

This review may or may not be slightly biased as most of my childhood centered around making my own lego town.
Anyways, do not disregard this movie as simply a movie to entertain children as I watched it with my 20 year old brother who thoroughly enjoyed it. I will say that you MUST watch it in HD because the detail is the best part of this movie. Seriously though .. you can see fingerprints on the pieces.
It also has a legendary cast including batman, wonder woman, green lantern etc and is funny in the most ridiculous way.
It even seems to tackle the issue of society's rules and regulations to a degree with Emmets fictional world strangely alike the real world. His $37 dollar coffee in the morning almost seems as ridiculous as the 4 pounds it takes to buy a real hot chocolate these days.
In conclusion,
it's not a movie that pulls on the heart strings or even gets you to think about life but it will make you want to buy a shitload of lego. And what else really matters?

BLACKFISH

Rating:*****

This is one of my favourite movies. It's beautifully done and informative with a great insight into the conditions that we keep wild orcas in. It's done in a way that doesn't force the opinion that caging these animals are wrong but points out the things we need to change.
It specifically looks at the upbringing of Tilikum, the killer whale that killed Dawn Brancheau who is still the largest male living in captivity.
After watching this movie I am of the opinion that trainers do develop an affection for their orcas and their orcas may or may not reciprocate that but what became increasingly apparent was that the people behind the trading of the whales do not understand what they are dealing with. They don't realise that these animals are capable of emotions that equal ours or that mental stimulation with toys or trainers isn't enough for an animal capable of complex communication.
It wasn't their care that appalled me but the lack of empathy that we so called "empathetic creatures" treated them with.
You owe it to them to watch this film if you've ever been to sea world, you really do.

Free Tillikum petiton

Thor: The Dark World

Rating: ***

Unfortunately there wasn't as much of a comedic relationship between Thor and the mortal world in this one with most events happening in Asgard or somewhere..
It was another one of those 'save the world movies' that I had subconsciously cast as boringly predictable half way through. But at that point I didn't realize how wrong I was with the biggest plot twist (possibly ever) leaving me pretty stunned and now I don't really know what happened in the movie tbh.
Also can we please stop with the 'can I trust Loki' story lines they leave everyone distraught when he inevitably betrays everyone he can.

Frozen

Rating: ***

Where do I start. Apparently the whole teen population has unanimously decided that they love this film so I rounded the rating up from 2.5 to 3 stars because I don't want to be murdered in my sleep. It just wasn't that good. Please watch it though I don't want you to be excluded from your group of friends.
Also can I just rant about how the animators seem to have gone out of their way to create characters who's beauty is completely unattainable, mainly because LOOK AT THE PROPORTIONS OF THEIR FACES.